Journal
Priya’s journal
Collecting the small things nobody claps for.
I nearly did not write
week 20fine energy 23 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running.…
Stayed for the company
week 20steadied energy 51 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour,…
Somebody new
week 18warm energy 14 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Went for the practical answers and stayed…
She stopped the room
week 17warm energy 44 replies
A gentle week, mostly. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour.…
Circle tonight
week 17warm energy 42 replies
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…
Stayed for the company
week 16warm energy 5
Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Started the practice of collecting non-scale wins, which became the…
Sunday night, four lines
week 16held energy 34 replies
She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday…
A plain question
week 15steady energy 23 replies
Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a…
Laces
week 14grateful energy 21 reply
Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Walked into town…
An unremarkable week
week 13steady energy 51 reply
A gentle week, mostly. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Steady. That is the whole entry. No news. The dog is…
Before nine
week 12steady energy 43 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer.…
Paired
week 11held energy 24 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a…
She read the diary
week 11heard energy 42 replies
Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. She reduced one of my other medications. I…
She noticed first
week 10held energy 5
A gentle week, mostly. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five…
The quiet
week 9quiet energy 33 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. The quiet is not the same as peace. It has left a space, and the space has other things in it that I had been keeping the noise on top…
Sunday lunch
week 8awkward energy 41 reply
Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say…
I did not know
week 8thoughtful energy 21 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Something has gone quiet and it took me weeks to be able to name it. There was a running commentary in my head about food — what was in the house, what…
What was underneath
week 7quiet energy 24 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Went past the shop I always go into and simply did not go in. Not resisted. Did not occur to me. I stood outside for a moment afterwards trying to work…
Six labelled boxes
week 7organised energy 42 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Small logistics win: worked out where the…
What is your secret
week 6awkward energy 31 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working…