Journal
Yannick’s journal
Two languages, three pharmacies, one prescription.
Somebody new
week 36warm energy 24 replies
Notes for the week. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. The facilitator stopped…
An unremarkable week
week 33fine energy 53 replies
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. An unremarkable week. Ate,…
Back without making it up
week 31tired but good energy 22 replies
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Eight…
No mask
week 31foggy energy 21 reply
Notes for the week. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Apnoea improved at a review. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you…
Flat, whole night
week 29quietly delighted energy 31 reply
Notes for the week. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago…
A wedding
week 26warm energy 41 reply
Notes for the week. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working…
No news
week 23flat energy 23 replies
Notes for the week. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was…
Paired
week 20held energy 4
Notes for the week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become…
She noticed first
week 18held energy 54 replies
Recording this for the record. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 15held energy 1
Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable…
The pattern of it
week 14flat energy 43 replies
Very tired. Not the kind of tired a nap fixes. I slept nine hours and woke feeling as though I had been awake all night. Documented in two languages. A rough few days. Not…
Steady
week 13fine energy 23 replies
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. An unremarkable week. Ate,…
An unremarkable week
week 10flat energy 33 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I…
Laces
week 8grateful energy 41 reply
Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I…
No news
week 5fine energy 13 replies
Recording this for the record. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks.…
Steady
week 3fine energy 13 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I…
Standing in the kitchen
week 1nervous energy 53 replies
Recording this for the record. What I keep coming back to is how long it took me to get here. Not the medication — the asking. Years of that. Bureaucracy first, medication…