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Grief and eating

My father died in March and I stopped eating

Started 10 July 2025 · 17 replies · 176 hearts · read 3.7k times

NoraDublin, IE · 10 July 2025
about a year ago

Something I have been sitting with: My father died in March and I stopped eating Not looking for advice so much as other people's experience.

Not asking anyone to fix this. Mostly saying it out loud somewhere it will be read kindly.

I am aware some of this may be nothing. I would still like to know whether other people have had it, because I have spent a fortnight assuming I am the only one.

I have written down what has actually happened, in order, because I find that more useful than my summary of it.

I will report back either way, because I have been helped by other people's follow-ups more than by their questions.

59

OsgarKillarney, IE
#1

Different experience here, for balance. Mine did not improve and in the end I stopped, and that was the right call for me. Both outcomes exist.

11

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#2

I will leave this open for a few more days and then add it to the circle's resources, because the answers here are better than anything I would have written.

16

NerysRhyl, UK
#3

No advice, just recognition. That sounds exhausting and I am sorry you are in it.

7me too 7

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#4

Building on what the reply above wrote rather than answering the original question.

I keep a two-line diary and it is the only reason I could answer this question about myself. Worth starting even now.

9

BronwenBarry, UK
#5

the reply above said something I want to sit with for a second.

Yes. All of this. I had the same in my third month and I remember thinking there was something specifically wrong with me, which there was not.

11

BibiRabat, MA
#6

Mine lasted about seven weeks and then lifted over a few days. I cannot tell you why. I can tell you it lifted.

7

MaudGhent, BE
#7

Two things that helped me, neither of them clever: small amounts more often, and drinking a lot more than felt necessary.

12

NoraDublin, IE
#8

I would take that to a clinician rather than to us, and I would do it this week. Not because it is definitely serious — because it is the sort of thing that is much easier to rule out than to worry about.

8

OsgarKillarney, IE
#9

the reply above said something I want to sit with for a second.

It got worse before it got better for me, which I wish someone had said. About ten days of worse.

12me too 8

TiborBratislava, SK
#10

For what it is worth, the trial data on this is thinner than the confidence of the internet would suggest. Worth knowing when you read the posts.

6

NerysRhyl, UK
#11

Can I gently push back on one thing? Not the substance, just the framing — you have written twice that you should be coping better. Who told you that?

9

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#12

the reply above said something I want to sit with for a second.

My pharmacist was more use than anyone. Ten minutes at the counter, no appointment, no charge.

8

BronwenBarry, UK
#13

The phrase that unlocked my appointment was asking what specifically she wanted me to watch for. It moved us from reassurance to a plan in about thirty seconds.

5

BibiRabat, MA
#14

I am about four months behind you and I have been dreading exactly this, so thank you for writing it down before I got there.

11

MaudGhent, BE
#15

Building on what the reply above wrote rather than answering the original question.

Yes to the burping. It is real, it is unbeautiful, and it does settle.

14me too 5

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#16

I want to slow this down a little. There are four different answers flying about and they are all somebody's real experience, which makes them true and not necessarily relevant to the person who asked.

17

OsgarKillarney, IE
#17

Have you got anyone who can be with you when you do it? It made an enormous difference to me and I felt silly asking.

13