Journal
Dev’s journal
I will read the paper before I believe the post.
Starters as a main
week 34warm energy 41 reply
Notes for the week. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Starters as a…
Awake at four
week 32tired energy 14 replies
Notes for the week. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 31held energy 14 replies
Notes for the week. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me how I…
Slept through
week 30rested energy 14 replies
Recording this for the record. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything…
Both bags, one go
week 28grateful energy 11 reply
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Swam. First time since school. Two lengths, badly, grinning. Tied my own laces…
She noticed first
week 27held energy 14 replies
Recording this for the record. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has…
Grip
week 25tired but good energy 52 replies
Notes for the week. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is…
Sore and slow
week 24sore energy 11 reply
Recording this for the record. Very tired. Not the kind of tired a nap fixes. I slept nine hours and woke feeling as though I had been awake all night. Bad week and I am…
Not writing about this would be dishonest
week 22flat energy 51 reply
Very tired. Not the kind of tired a nap fixes. I slept nine hours and woke feeling as though I had been awake all night. Bad week and I am writing it down anyway, because a…
A rough few days
week 22rough energy 43 replies
Recording this for the record. Very tired. Not the kind of tired a nap fixes. I slept nine hours and woke feeling as though I had been awake all night. Wrote up his own side…
Laces
week 21quietly delighted energy 51 reply
Recording this for the record. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then…
Walking
week 19tired but good energy 12 replies
Recording this for the record. Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Two sessions this week, both short, both done.…
Across the day
week 17steady energy 53 replies
Notes for the week. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Was undereating without realising. The…
Paired
week 16held energy 24 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a…
Grip
week 15tired but good energy 3
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Kept…
An unremarkable week
week 13steady energy 13 replies
Notes for the week. Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is…
Before nine
week 12steady energy 13 replies
Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer. Spread it across the day…
Flat, whole night
week 11quietly delighted energy 31 reply
Notes for the week. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Walked into town and…
Circle tonight
week 9steadied energy 31 reply
Notes for the week. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Went for the practical…
Somebody new
week 8warm energy 44 replies
The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Somebody new tonight,…