Journal
Maeve’s journal
Putting things off less than I used to.
Quiet
week 38flat energy 31 reply
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Tomorrow, honestly.
Across the day
week 36steady energy 23 replies
I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the…
I nearly did not write
week 35steady energy 23 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Tomorrow, honestly.
Starters as a main
week 33loved energy 31 reply
Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy.…
The list on the fridge
week 32steady energy 53 replies
Right. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only…
What was underneath
week 30quiet energy 33 replies
Well then. I miss looking forward to dinner. I did not expect to have to write that sentence and I do not know what to do with it. The hum is back, quieter. I panicked when…
Nothing to report
week 28steady energy 21 reply
Well then. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Tomorrow, honestly.
The space it left
week 28quiet energy 5
The hum is back, quieter. I panicked when it started returning and Jonah pointed out, mildly, that nobody had promised it was permanent. The quiet, described in one funny…
Flat, whole night
week 27grateful energy 31 reply
Right. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Got down on the floor and back up…
No mask
week 25tired energy 34 replies
Well then. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the…
Quiet
week 24steady energy 43 replies
Right. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Tomorrow, honestly.
Awake at four
week 22rested energy 5
Right. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the…
Nine minutes
week 20brisk energy 32 replies
Right. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I…
A printout I cannot read
week 19brisk energy 12 replies
A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had…
What is your secret
week 17loved energy 21 reply
Right. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was…
I nearly did not write
week 15fine energy 21 reply
Right. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Tomorrow, honestly.
Propped up on pillows
week 14sore energy 33 replies
Right. Very tired. Not the kind of tired a nap fixes. I slept nine hours and woke feeling as though I had been awake all night. The nausea has a shape to it now. Thursday…
Three cool bags and a thermometer
week 12organised energy 42 replies
Well then. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Small logistics win: worked out…
A rough few days
week 12sore energy 13 replies
Well then. Cramp in both calves in the night, twice this week. Mentioned it and had bloods done rather than being told to eat a banana, which I appreciated. Manageable. Bad…
Anchored to the shifts
week 11organised energy 32 replies
Right. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. Two lines a day in a paper diary.…