Journal
Sonia’s journal
Determined to keep the joy in food.
Two years, no news
week 90flat energy 51 reply
The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady. Still cooks. Still tastes everything. Two years. My only…
She stopped the room
week 70warm energy 14 replies
Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Dining-out circle, where she is enormously useful. The facilitator stopped…
I nearly did not write
week 51steady energy 41 reply
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild…
The changing room
week 51tired of it energy 13 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Somebody said I looked well and it landed like an indictment of every year before. A difficult month when customers commented. Clothes…
The list on the fridge
week 50steady energy 23 replies
I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Protein first, everything else…
An unremarkable week
week 48flat energy 51 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a…
What is your secret
week 47awkward energy 11 reply
Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who…
She reduced it
week 46heard energy 12 replies
Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 45held energy 44 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the…
Off the floor
week 43grateful energy 31 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got…
Dreams
week 42rested energy 4
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find…
Stayed for the company
week 40warm energy 34 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the…
I nearly did not write
week 39steady energy 21 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of…
Both bags, one go
week 38quietly delighted energy 43 replies
Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware…
Laces
week 36grateful energy 21 reply
Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not…
Flat, whole night
week 35quietly delighted energy 52 replies
Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Tied my own…
Two lengths, badly
week 35pleased energy 34 replies
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Fourteen-hour service and her knees held. Got down on the floor and back up again…
Sunday night, four lines
week 34held energy 44 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. My buddy noticed…
An unremarkable week
week 32flat energy 23 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring…
Protein first
week 31steady energy 13 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the…