Journal
Tulla’s journal
Rural GP, waiting lists, patient patience.
Two lengths, badly
week 22grateful energy 51 reply
Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second…
Awake at four
week 21rested energy 5
This week: Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came back and the…
Slept through
week 20tired energy 5
Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is…
Stayed for the company
week 20warm energy 44 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and…
Nine minutes
week 19brisk energy 32 replies
A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea…
Steady
week 18steady energy 21 reply
Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has…
What is your secret
week 17loved energy 31 reply
My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Starters as a main course,…
The pattern of it
week 16flat energy 31 reply
This week: The burping. Nobody mentions the burping. It is not in any leaflet and it is genuinely one of the odder experiences of my adult life. Very tired. Not the kind of…
Nothing to report
week 15flat energy 23 replies
This week: An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have…
An unremarkable week
week 15fine energy 13 replies
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the whole entry. An…
The bad fortnight
week 14sore energy 22 replies
This week: A rough few days. Not dangerous, just relentlessly unpleasant, the kind of unwell where you cannot read and cannot sleep and cannot settle to anything. Manageable.…
Sunday night, four lines
week 13held energy 54 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a…
A locum
week 12heard energy 32 replies
This week: Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. She reduced one of my other medications. I…
Before nine
week 11steady energy 53 replies
Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and…
Starters as a main
week 10awkward energy 41 reply
This week: My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Starters as a main…
Paired
week 10held energy 44 replies
This week: Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. My buddy noticed something in my…
Two lines a day
week 9organised energy 5
Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Two lines a day in a paper…
Quiet
week 8flat energy 53 replies
This week: Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the…
Circle tonight
week 7warm energy 34 replies
This week: Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was…
Sunday lunch
week 6awkward energy 31 reply
My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Starters as a main course,…