Journal
Annika’s journal
Almost gave up in month four. Glad I did not.
Steady
week 33flat energy 51 reply
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Enough for now.
A wedding
week 31loved energy 51 reply
A quiet week. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a…
Flat, whole night
week 29quietly delighted energy 44 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since…
Off the floor
week 28grateful energy 34 replies
Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Slept through the night without waking.…
She reduced it
week 27frustrated energy 12 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Nine minutes. I took three…
A plain question
week 25steady energy 53 replies
Short one tonight. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Spread it across the day instead of…
Six labelled boxes
week 24organised energy 42 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Batch cooked on a…
The question I had been avoiding
week 23brisk energy 22 replies
A quiet week. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Left with a printout I could…
Slept through
week 22tired energy 4
Short one tonight. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not…
Protein first
week 20steady energy 53 replies
Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I…
A different shape
week 19foggy energy 34 replies
Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet…
Somebody new
week 17steadied energy 13 replies
A quiet week. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I…
Stayed for the company
week 16steadied energy 53 replies
Short one tonight. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of…
Circle tonight
week 15warm energy 42 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. The plateau circle is the reason she…
An unremarkable week
week 15steady energy 31 reply
A quiet week. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Enough for now.
Flat, again
week 13stubborn energy 33 replies
Nothing. Eleven weeks of nothing. I know intellectually that nothing is not a failure, and I am finding that intellectual knowledge worth approximately nothing this evening.…
She reduced it
week 12brisk energy 52 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Nine minutes. I took three…
I wanted to stop
week 10stubborn energy 24 replies
Second plateau, and it is easier than the first, mostly because I have been here and come out the other side without doing anything clever. Month four, nothing at all, and a…
No news
week 10steady energy 31 reply
A quiet week. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Enough for now.
A plain question
week 9steady energy 53 replies
A quiet week. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer. Got…