Journal
Bel’s journal
Suburban, sensible, secretly struggling.
Two years, read back
week 94grateful energy 44 replies
Two years today. I have read this journal back from the start this evening and the person in March 2024 was so frightened, and nobody told her it would just gradually become…
Sunday night, four lines
week 79held energy 34 replies
Late, and writing anyway. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or…
Nothing happened again
week 78content energy 14 replies
Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. Steady. Nothing happened again. I am aware that is now the fourth month running I have written that, and I have decided it is the best…
Protein first
week 77steady energy 13 replies
Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the…
Where the pen lives
week 75organised energy 32 replies
Late, and writing anyway. New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens to it when I move in September. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar,…
Walking
week 74tired but good energy 4
Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Grip strength has gone off and I noticed it opening a jar before I noticed it anywhere else. Back to…
An unremarkable week
week 72flat energy 41 reply
A quiet week. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Better tomorrow, probably.
A new bin and a plan
week 69organised energy 32 replies
A quiet week. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Small logistics…
Quiet
week 68steady energy 23 replies
Short one tonight. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Better tomorrow, probably.
Paired
week 66held energy 14 replies
A quiet week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about…
A locum
week 64frustrated energy 5
Short one tonight. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Asked the question I had been…
Starters as a main
week 62loved energy 41 reply
Short one tonight. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Sunday lunch…
No news
week 60flat energy 23 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Better tomorrow, probably.
An hour on the floor
week 58quietly delighted energy 21 reply
Short one tonight. Swam. First time since school. Two lengths, badly, grinning. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Got…
No mask
week 56tired energy 14 replies
A quiet week. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. The sleep has changed shape…
Laces
week 56quietly delighted energy 32 replies
A quiet week. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Ran for a bus and was not wrecked by it.…
Circle tonight
week 54warm energy 24 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Went for the…
I nearly did not write
week 52steady energy 43 replies
A quiet week. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Better tomorrow, probably.
Anchored to the shifts
week 50organised energy 22 replies
Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens…
Nine minutes
week 48brisk energy 12 replies
Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Left with a printout I could not read and no…