Journal
Birdie’s journal
Seaside, seagulls, steady weeks.
Nothing happened again
week 91settled energy 42 replies
Reduced to a maintenance dose. Same day, same fridge, less of it. Steady. Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not…
The list on the fridge
week 67steady energy 13 replies
Evening. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Was undereating without…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 66tired but good energy 32 replies
Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to…
She noticed first
week 64held energy 14 replies
Evening. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one,…
She stopped the room
week 63warm energy 14 replies
Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual…
Steady
week 61steady energy 51 reply
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. I nearly did not write this week because…
Iron and B12
week 61relieved energy 3
Bloods back. Unremarkable, she said, which is a word I had never once heard applied to me. Fine. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother,…
Anchored to the shifts
week 60organised energy 52 replies
Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens…
Sunday lunch
week 58awkward energy 31 reply
Evening. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed,…
Where the pen lives
week 56organised energy 12 replies
Evening. New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens to it when I move in September. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a…
Two sessions
week 55tired but good energy 22 replies
Evening. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Kept the two sessions that…
Quiet
week 53flat energy 13 replies
Evening. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Steady. That is the…
Slept through
week 52rested energy 54 replies
Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have…
Steady
week 50steady energy 13 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the…
Quiet
week 48steady energy 23 replies
Evening. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. An unremarkable…
Starters as a main
week 47awkward energy 31 reply
Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a…
Somebody new
week 45warm energy 44 replies
Evening. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Went for the practical answers and…
Nine minutes
week 43brisk energy 42 replies
Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Left with a printout I could not read and no…
A printout I cannot read
week 42heard energy 32 replies
Evening. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Nine minutes. I took three written questions…
Stayed for the company
week 40warm energy 1
The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Somebody new tonight,…