Journal
Keeley’s journal
Carer for my mum. Barely thought about myself until now.
Two years, no news
week 88content energy 23 replies
A quiet week. Reduced to a maintenance dose. Same day, same fridge, less of it. Steady, and slowly rebuilding a life. Nothing happened again. I am aware that is now the…
March
week 66hollow energy 51 reply
Short one tonight. Anniversaries do something to my whole week and I have stopped being surprised by it. Her mother went into a home. A very hard autumn. Six weeks of…
Into town and back
week 44pleased energy 53 replies
A quiet week. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Lifted her mother safely without her back going. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that…
Off the floor
week 35quietly delighted energy 41 reply
Late, and writing anyway. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was…
Six labelled boxes
week 34organised energy 32 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Tested three cool bags against a thermometer this weekend because I am that person. Results written up for the travel circle. Batch cooked on a good…
Quiet
week 34fine energy 23 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Steady. That is the whole entry. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the…
The question I had been avoiding
week 33frustrated energy 12 replies
Short one tonight. She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be…
An unremarkable week
week 32fine energy 21 reply
Short one tonight. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. An unremarkable week.…
Paired
week 31held energy 5
Late, and writing anyway. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly…
A wedding
week 31loved energy 31 reply
A quiet week. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what…
A locum
week 29brisk energy 22 replies
Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I…
Two sessions
week 29tired but good energy 42 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he…
A new bin and a plan
week 28organised energy 32 replies
Short one tonight. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and…
Circle tonight
week 27warm energy 52 replies
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…
Stayed for the company
week 26warm energy 1
A quiet week. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes…
Somebody new
week 26warm energy 4
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Carers circle, where somebody asked about…
She noticed first
week 25held energy 34 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 25held energy 34 replies
Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable…
Six labelled boxes
week 24organised energy 52 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Tested three cool…
Grip
week 23tired but good energy 32 replies
Short one tonight. Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven weeks. Grip strength has gone off and I noticed it…