Life and logistics
Dining out
Restaurants, weddings, work lunches, and not owing anyone an explanation.
Eating in public becomes complicated when you can manage a third of what you used to. People notice. People comment. And the social contract around a shared meal turns out to be much stronger than anyone realised.
This circle is about navigating that without either lying or announcing yourself, and about the specific cultures — Italian, Nigerian, Sicilian, Punjabi, Jewish, Irish — where food is how love gets expressed.
Who this circle is for
- Eating out has become stressful
- You are dreading a specific occasion
- You have a good script for this that others could borrow
Agreements here
- You do not owe anybody an explanation about your plate
- No moralising about anyone's order
A first date and a plate I barely touched
Nol9 replies
Something I have been sitting with: A first date and a plate I barely touched Not looking for advice so much as other people's experience. Anyone else navigating this? I feel as though…
Sicilian family, small appetite, a lot of love
Kate15 replies
Sicilian family, small appetite, a lot of love Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think. The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. What I keep…
A wedding where I could not face the meal
Gilda14 replies
Starting a thread on this because it keeps coming up in ones and twos: A wedding where I could not face the meal The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. My…
Taking food home and not making it awkward
Ambrose9 replies
A question rather than an update: Taking food home and not making it awkward The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. What I keep tripping on is not the physical…
Iftar with a changed appetite
Otti17 replies
A question rather than an update: Iftar with a changed appetite The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. I have written down what has actually happened, in order,…
Work lunches and a boss who notices everything
Ambrose11 replies
Work lunches and a boss who notices everything — putting it in its own thread so it does not get lost in the check-in. Practical question, and possibly a silly one. What I keep tripping on…
Being the one who does not drink or eat much any more
Ambrose20 replies
Something I have been sitting with: Being the one who does not drink or eat much any more Not looking for advice so much as other people's experience. Practical question, and possibly a…
My nonna cooks and I eat what I can — we manage
Otti15 replies
A question rather than an update: My nonna cooks and I eat what I can — we manage The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. I am aware some of this may be nothing.…
Restaurants where I have never had a problem
Perry15 replies
Restaurants where I have never had a problem — putting it in its own thread so it does not get lost in the check-in. Anyone else navigating this? I feel as though every piece of advice I…
Starters as a main course, permanently
Nkosi16 replies
A question rather than an update: Starters as a main course, permanently Anyone else navigating this? I feel as though every piece of advice I read was written for someone with a…
The waiter who quietly boxed it up without a word
Osgar24 replies
The waiter who quietly boxed it up without a word Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think. Anyone else navigating this? I feel as though every piece of advice I read was…
How I ordered at a Nigerian family celebration
Ambrose22 replies
Starting a thread on this because it keeps coming up in ones and twos: How I ordered at a Nigerian family celebration Practical question, and possibly a silly one. What I would find most…
What I say when someone comments on my plate
Delphi18 replies
Starting a thread on this because it keeps coming up in ones and twos: What I say when someone comments on my plate The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine is. Here…
Christmas dinner, year two
Kate20 replies
Something I have been sitting with: Christmas dinner, year two Not looking for advice so much as other people's experience. The logistics of this are defeating me more than the medicine…