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Journal

Noah’s journal

Nights on a ward. My week has no shape and I am making peace with it.

46 entries from 19 Aug 2024 to 8 Apr 2026 · Hull, UK

  • No mask

    Monday 17 Mar 2025week 31foggy energy 14 replies

    Right. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort…

  • Where the pen lives

    Thursday 6 Mar 2025week 29organised energy 3

    Well then. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. Batch cooked on a good day for the…

  • Six labelled boxes

    Sunday 23 Feb 2025week 27organised energy 52 replies

    Right. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to…

  • The list on the fridge

    Saturday 15 Feb 2025week 26steady energy 13 replies

    Right. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and…

  • Laces

    Saturday 8 Feb 2025week 25pleased energy 41 reply

    Well then. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Off to bed.…

  • I nearly did not write

    Wednesday 29 Jan 2025week 24fine energy 23 replies

    Well then. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Nothing to report.…

  • An unremarkable week

    Tuesday 21 Jan 2025week 23steady energy 33 replies

    Right. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Quiet. Injection…

  • Stayed for the company

    Saturday 18 Jan 2025week 22steadied energy 43 replies

    Right. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Kiki's 07:30 circle…

  • Flat, whole night

    Sunday 12 Jan 2025week 21grateful energy 31 reply

    Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years.…

  • I nearly did not write

    Wednesday 1 Jan 2025week 20fine energy 51 reply

    Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about…

  • Eight minutes and a chair

    Monday 23 Dec 2024week 19tired but good energy 22 replies

    Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven weeks. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just…

  • Fewer, heavier

    Monday 16 Dec 2024week 18tired but good energy 3

    Well then. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done.…

  • Anchored to the shifts

    Monday 9 Dec 2024week 17organised energy 1

    Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Two lines a day in a paper…

  • An unremarkable week

    Friday 29 Nov 2024week 15fine energy 43 replies

    Well then. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Nothing to report.…

  • She stopped the room

    Tuesday 19 Nov 2024week 14warm energy 44 replies

    Well then. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…

  • I nearly did not write

    Tuesday 12 Nov 2024week 13fine energy 21 reply

    Well then. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Quiet.…

  • Awake at four

    Monday 4 Nov 2024week 12tired energy 5

    Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Could not tell what was the medication and…

  • A different shape

    Saturday 2 Nov 2024week 11foggy energy 1

    Well then. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Vivid dreams, every night, the…

  • Dreams

    Wednesday 23 Oct 2024week 10rested energy 5

    Right. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort…

  • Walking

    Monday 14 Oct 2024week 9tired but good energy 2

    Right. Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and…