Journal
Clemmie’s journal
PCOS since nineteen. Cycle back for the first time in years.
Wrote it on the milestones page
week 24delighted energy 14 replies
Not a number. A thing I can do now that I could not do, and I am going to describe it in detail because that is the only kind of record I want to keep. Cycle returned. The…
Awake at four
week 23rested energy 1
A gentle week, mostly. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off.…
Off the floor
week 22quietly delighted energy 41 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Swam. First time since school. Two lengths, badly,…
Starters as a main
week 21awkward energy 31 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be…
The list on the fridge
week 20steady energy 13 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer.…
Quiet
week 19fine energy 53 replies
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Quiet. Injection…
The limits of yoghurt
week 18steady energy 13 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all…
Three cool bags and a thermometer
week 17organised energy 52 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 16held energy 34 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. My buddy noticed something…
Steady
week 15flat energy 23 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about…
A new bin and a plan
week 14organised energy 52 replies
Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Two lines a day in a paper…
Quiet
week 13steady energy 53 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring…
Steady
week 12flat energy 41 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing.…
Quiet
week 11fine energy 43 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about…
Two lines a day
week 10organised energy 1
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. New…
Propped up on pillows
week 9flat energy 13 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Sore at the injection site for about ten days, a small firm lump under the skin. The pharmacist looked at it, was unbothered, and told…
The bad fortnight
week 8rough energy 42 replies
Constipation, which I have avoided writing about for six weeks out of pure squeamishness. It is the thing making me most miserable and I have said nothing about it to…
Steady
week 8flat energy 23 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring…
She noticed first
week 7held energy 54 replies
She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines…
Nine minutes
week 7frustrated energy 32 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Took…