Journal
Freya’s journal
New to all of it. Asking the obvious questions.
Before nine
week 21steady energy 23 replies
Quickly, before bed. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer.…
A locum
week 20brisk energy 52 replies
Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I…
Steady
week 19fine energy 43 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my…
Laces
week 19grateful energy 21 reply
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I…
Flat, whole night
week 18pleased energy 51 reply
Quickly, before bed. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Full shift on my feet and my…
Dreams
week 17rested energy 24 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there…
A wedding
week 16awkward energy 41 reply
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who…
Awake at four
week 15foggy energy 34 replies
Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep…
Stayed for the company
week 15warm energy 2
Quickly, before bed. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight…
Somebody new
week 14warm energy 34 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified,…
No news
week 13fine energy 11 reply
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the whole entry. An…
An unremarkable week
week 12fine energy 53 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has…
The list on the fridge
week 11steady energy 13 replies
Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of…
Sore and slow
week 11sore energy 13 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. The nausea has a shape to it now. Thursday teatime it starts, Friday it peaks, Saturday afternoon it lifts. Once I could see the pattern it…
The bad fortnight
week 10rough energy 53 replies
Bad week and I am writing it down anyway, because a journal that only contains the good weeks would be a lie and no use to anybody reading it later. A dark Icelandic January…
Slept through
week 10foggy energy 44 replies
Quickly, before bed. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to…
She stopped the room
week 9warm energy 34 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and…
A printout I cannot read
week 8brisk energy 12 replies
Quickly, before bed. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. She reduced one of my other…
A plain question
week 7steady energy 33 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Was undereating without…
My mother cooks
week 6warm energy 51 reply
Quickly, before bed. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed,…