Journal
Gus’s journal
Finally understand why I was hungry for thirty years.
Dreams
week 24foggy energy 34 replies
Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is…
Two lines a day
week 23organised energy 32 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Tested three cool bags…
Paired
week 22held energy 54 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next…
Awake at four
week 21tired energy 54 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different.…
Circle tonight
week 20warm energy 54 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight,…
Walking
week 19tired but good energy 2
A gentle week, mostly. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for…
A locum
week 18frustrated energy 12 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Took the diary in. She read it properly,…
Protein first
week 17steady energy 23 replies
Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I…
Sunday lunch
week 16awkward energy 11 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. Sunday lunch at my…
Slept through
week 15tired energy 34 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came…
What was underneath
week 14thoughtful energy 12 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. I did not know other people did not have this. That is the part I keep turning over. I assumed everybody was doing the same negotiation…
The quiet
week 14quiet energy 43 replies
The quiet is not the same as peace. It has left a space, and the space has other things in it that I had been keeping the noise on top of. Wrote the entry that made a lot of…
Two sessions
week 13tired but good energy 12 replies
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Eight…
No news
week 13fine energy 41 reply
A gentle week, mostly. Steady. That is the whole entry. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the…
An unremarkable week
week 11flat energy 53 replies
A gentle week, mostly. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. An unremarkable…
Laces
week 11pleased energy 21 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check.…
Steady
week 10flat energy 33 replies
A gentle week, mostly. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Steady. That is the whole entry. No news. The dog is…
No news
week 8fine energy 23 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. An…
An unremarkable week
week 8fine energy 13 replies
A gentle week, mostly. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. An unremarkable…
Steady
week 6fine energy 53 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Steady. That is the whole entry. No…