Journal
Gavin’s journal
Big lad, bad knees, very slowly getting back to the hills.
An hour on the floor
week 23grateful energy 51 reply
Short one tonight. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That…
Walking
week 22tired but good energy 52 replies
A quiet week. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Eight minutes and a chair.…
She read the diary
week 21brisk energy 12 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. She reduced one of…
She noticed first
week 20held energy 44 replies
She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and…
Two lengths, badly
week 19quietly delighted energy 31 reply
A quiet week. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Up the stairs at work twice without…
Steady
week 18flat energy 51 reply
A quiet week. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Cheers.
Not writing about this would be dishonest
week 17flat energy 41 reply
Short one tonight. Constipation, which I have avoided writing about for six weeks out of pure squeamishness. It is the thing making me most miserable and I have said nothing…
A printout I cannot read
week 16frustrated energy 1
She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about…
Circle tonight
week 15warm energy 54 replies
A quiet week. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the…
The pattern of it
week 14sore energy 53 replies
Sore at the injection site for about ten days, a small firm lump under the skin. The pharmacist looked at it, was unbothered, and told me to move further round next time. The…
Sore and slow
week 14rough energy 23 replies
A quiet week. Constipation, which I have avoided writing about for six weeks out of pure squeamishness. It is the thing making me most miserable and I have said nothing about…
The limits of yoghurt
week 14steady energy 13 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer.…
The list on the fridge
week 12steady energy 13 replies
A quiet week. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and…
Slept through
week 12rested energy 14 replies
Late, and writing anyway. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Repeat study came back and the apnoea…
Stayed for the company
week 11warm energy 4
The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Circle tonight. Eight of us,…
Three days late
week 9anxious energy 52 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Delayed by three days because I could not face it, and then felt so bad about the delay that I nearly delayed again out of shame. Said this in…
A ritual now
week 8relieved energy 31 reply
Late, and writing anyway. Delayed by three days because I could not face it, and then felt so bad about the delay that I nearly delayed again out of shame. Said this in…
Awake at four
week 7tired energy 24 replies
Late, and writing anyway. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Repeat study came back and the apnoea…
Quiet
week 6fine energy 33 replies
A quiet week. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Cheers.
A voice on the phone
week 6anxious energy 52 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Delayed by three days because I could not face it, and then felt so bad about the delay that I nearly delayed again out of shame. Said this in…