Journal
Ottoline’s journal
Long words, short energy.
Two years, no news
week 105settled energy 53 replies
A brief account of the week. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady, writing long, teaching…
Iron and B12
week 84relieved energy 24 replies
Iron and B12 both low. Treated. The difference in a fortnight was not subtle. Stable. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which…
Weather, not a verdict
week 62low energy 53 replies
A brief account of the week. I wanted to stop this week. Said so out loud in circle, which I had not planned to. Six people said they had been there. Nobody tried to fix it.…
An unremarkable week
week 51fine energy 33 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the…
What is your secret
week 49awkward energy 41 reply
Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who…
Two flights of stairs
week 48quietly delighted energy 21 reply
A brief account of the week. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Full shift on…
An hour on the floor
week 47pleased energy 51 reply
Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Tied my own…
She read the diary
week 45heard energy 12 replies
Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was…
Both bags, one go
week 45quietly delighted energy 52 replies
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Walked up Arthur's Seat with a colleague and did not have to stop. Got down on the…
Protein first
week 44steady energy 33 replies
Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the…
A different shape
week 43rested energy 24 replies
A brief account of the week. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything…
The limits of yoghurt
week 42steady energy 33 replies
A brief account of the week. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own.…
Slept through
week 40rested energy 14 replies
Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it. Waking at…
A printout I cannot read
week 39brisk energy 12 replies
A brief account of the week. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Asked the question I…
Quiet
week 38fine energy 41 reply
A brief account of the week. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole…
No news
week 36fine energy 23 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal…
Flat, whole night
week 35pleased energy 21 reply
Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for…
Sunday lunch
week 33awkward energy 51 reply
A brief account of the week. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. A wedding. Three courses I could not…
The question I had been avoiding
week 32brisk energy 22 replies
Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Left with a printout I could not read and no…
Sunday night, four lines
week 31held energy 44 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a…