Journal
Tam’s journal
I write everything down and it has saved me twice.
No project
week 92settled energy 42 replies
Nothing happened again. I am aware that is now the fourth month running I have written that, and I have decided it is the best sentence in this journal. Steady, still two…
A plain question
week 70steady energy 11 reply
Three things this week. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Adjusted everything post-surgery and reported it. Was undereating…
An unremarkable week
week 56fine energy 21 reply
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I…
Different this time
week 55nervous energy 4
Second time and it is completely different. Slower, kinder, and I know what the third day feels like. Starting from the bottom again, which my prescriber was firm about and…
The shame was the worst of it
week 54relieved energy 23 replies
The shame about the gap was worse than any side effect I have had. Six people in circle said "yes, me, twice", and it went. Second time and it is completely different.…
She read the diary
week 52brisk energy 32 replies
Three things this week. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Left with a printout I…
Back
week 52relieved energy 21 reply
Three things this week. Back. Eight months away and I arrived braced for a judgement that has not come from a single person. Restarted afterwards with his surgeon's…
No news
week 50fine energy 23 replies
Week in order: I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. An unremarkable…
My mother cooks
week 49awkward energy 51 reply
Week in order: A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Sunday lunch at my…
Awake at four
week 48foggy energy 44 replies
Three things this week. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Slept through. Whole night, no waking.…
She reduced it
week 47brisk energy 32 replies
Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had…
Anchored to the shifts
week 45organised energy 22 replies
Three things this week. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Batch…
Steady
week 44steady energy 33 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I…
No mask
week 42rested energy 44 replies
The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that…
An unremarkable week
week 41flat energy 41 reply
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. An unremarkable week. Ate,…
Slept through
week 39tired energy 3
Week in order: The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has…
Two nights in
week 38sore energy 44 replies
Two nights in, home now. Everyone was kind and nobody made me feel stupid for coming in, which was the thing I had been most afraid of. Gallbladder out. Wrote about it…
No news
week 38steady energy 13 replies
Week in order: An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in…
She noticed first
week 37held energy 44 replies
Three things this week. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five…
Back without making it up
week 35tired but good energy 52 replies
Week in order: Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Two sessions this week,…