Journal
Bram’s journal
Third Bram. We are considering numbers.
Two years, no news
week 76content energy 34 replies
The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady. Nothing happened again. I am aware that is now the fourth…
The question I had been avoiding
week 70frustrated energy 42 replies
Right. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. A locum who had clearly read nothing.…
Protein first
week 69steady energy 53 replies
Right. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have…
I nearly did not write
week 67steady energy 13 replies
Well then. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what…
Fewer, heavier
week 65tired but good energy 52 replies
Well then. Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that…
An unremarkable week
week 63flat energy 33 replies
Well then. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a…
She noticed first
week 61held energy 34 replies
She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday…
She reduced it
week 59brisk energy 52 replies
A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven…
Sunday lunch
week 57awkward energy 31 reply
Well then. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who…
A1c down
week 55pleased energy 51 reply
Well then. Bloods back. Unremarkable, she said, which is a word I had never once heard applied to me. Fine. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my…
Walking
week 55tired but good energy 1
Right. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right.…
She stopped the room
week 53warm energy 44 replies
Well then. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the…
I nearly did not write
week 51steady energy 51 reply
Well then. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Steady. That…
Paired
week 49held energy 14 replies
Well then. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine…
The list on the fridge
week 47steady energy 23 replies
Well then. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the…
Sunday night, four lines
week 45held energy 34 replies
Right. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 43held energy 34 replies
Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up.…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 41tired but good energy 3
Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week…
Flat, whole night
week 39quietly delighted energy 21 reply
Well then. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Swam. First time since school.…
Two lines a day
week 37organised energy 12 replies
Right. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Anchored injection day to my shift…